Mental health I want to discuss: The manic upswings, downswings, burnouts, panic attacks, anxiety, and everything else while living a "normal" day to day life

Some days are REALLY hard, and people who aren't our age simply just do not get it

I’ve been thinking about mental health a lot lately, especially with my sober date coming quickly. In reality if I’m not putting my mental health first, then I’m not going to stay sober. That’s when the lies and deception and stealing starts and I’ve worked way too hard to get away from all of that.

I’m all for medication if it helps, and I myself have even been on medication for years.

Let me tell you about the time I forgot my meds for two days and didn’t know it

I can’t even tell you what was going on, but someone in my family brought up political topics that set me off. We were outside on a nice summer day and my parents had brought their dog home who was a puppy at the time. The dog hadn’t been there for more than an hour when this person wouldn’t stop trying to yell over me until I snapped and screamed “F——— YOU” over and over and over again. When this person decided to one up me in loudness I’d had it and flipped the table so everyone’s drinks and cell phones went flying. For a minute everyone was silent, and my dad was PISSED. I realized what I had done because it felt like I was just not in control of my actions at all and I was watching from the outside. I turned to leave and the other person threw their full drink at me, hitting me in the back.

The outcome of this was me swallowing my pride and apologizing, even though I felt like this person was just as wrong as I was. They apologized to everyone but me, lol, however in the 12 steps we learn we can only see our part and hold ourselves responsible, and copping resentments doesn’t do anyone any good.

This happened because I forgot to take my meds for two days.

I didn’t realize it until after the fact, and it helped me to be able to apologize because I knew I had acted wrong. This was the day I learned what happens if I don’t take my meds. I’m irritable, moody, angry, obsessive, and can’t concentrate. It especially helps my ADHD and helps my mind stay on track so I’m not obsessing over something stupid. It also makes me way less angry and helps me to pause and think.

I 100% felt this way BEFORE I started taking medication.

And I forgot what that felt like. It was awful, I felt like I was constantly out of control of my own thoughts and actions and I was unable to connect the two. I would be acting out in anger with screaming, throwing, etc. while a voice in my head would be begging me to stop. I felt so disconnected from myself. Nobody could stand me and I don’t blame them.

Is this why older people are so crotechy and miserable all the time?

Honestly, my theory is that meds are viewed as so negative by the older generations that they suppress their issues instead of getting the proper therapy or medications that could help them. Because they refuse and we don’t deal with it their way, they view it as weak.

Yet old people get pissed off when I flip a table? Okay lol. Pick a struggle.

Side note: My latest bumper stickers

I’ll leave you with this: