Is it a manic spiral? Is it my severe ADHD that meds only do so much to help? idk but here's what's what
A quick (maybe) word explosion of what I'm trying to do
What am I doing?
Honestly, I ask myself this question every day. WTF am I even doing?
My ADHD says everything and my anxiety says nothing, then on an upswing I try to do it all. Then comes the crash and I do nothing for who knows how long.
I’m trying to traditionally publish my first full length novel after a lifetime of writing and getting two degrees, fielding rejection letters right and left, I’m trying to create some of the most beautiful photographs of my life that others find just as great as I do who would be willing to buy them, I’m trying to make all the nostalgia stickers I can think of because I LOVE stickers, and just want to share what I come up with, I’m trying to read as much as humanly possible, and I’m trying to just enjoy my life.
Xanga was my outlet back in the 2000s, and I’m determined to go back to the blogging life via Substack.
Being a millennial feels impossibly hard, and that’s why people between the ages of 25 and 35 are living at home with their parents at a much higher rate (for the record I’m not right now but I miss it so much). The housing market and economy are absolutely wrecked. The entire world feels impossible to navigate at times and with my dog stressing me out I have no idea how the hell I would even do this with a kid. God bless those who chose to have them, more power to you.
The highlights for me are to be in a good relationship with the best dog and to afford the basics along with a fun time once in a while. Bowling is literally so expensive. Going to the movies- super expensive. Existing is expensive.
Not to mention we live in America so leaving the house to do anything at all is actually scary because who knows if someone is going to snap that day.
I’m just a random person trying to make it and some of us get lucky while others don’t and that’s okay.
Blogging it out is the healthiest thing I can think of doing, especially with how my twenties have gone. I’ll have four years sober on March 29th and I could live in a cardboard box and be happy with that.
I’m not sure if it’s a manic spiral or not though- but it probably is. Hopefully some good comes out of it, I know many of you can relate.